And I will dwell in the kitchen of my house forever.

For me, dieting has always been a huge hassle, and here are a few reasons why.

#1. As mentioned in the previous post, self-discipline is one of my largest downfalls. I wasn't exactly the best homeschooler, because I never had enough desire to do it myself without being nagged to death to do it. And really not even then...dieting takes a MASSIVE amount of self control when you've just let yourself do yo thang pretty much every day and not suffered any immediate consequence. The pounds usually pack on so slowly over time it seems barely noticeable until one day you wake up and wonder what happened. Hah.

#2. Which way to choose? Should I leave out meat? Should I leave out dairy? Should I avoid butter and oil like the plague? Do I exercise in the morning? Afternoon? Night? Before I eat or after I eat? All in one 45 minute to 1 hour go, or spread out throughout the day? Is walking enough? How much should I run? How far? What do I do if I'm stuck inside because it's FRIGID outside and can't afford a gym membership? Yoga/Weight Training/Cardio? All of the above? Everyone says different things!!

#3. It's gotta be all or nothing. For some reason, I have this mentality that once I start some kind of diet, and restrict myself at all...once I break the rules I've set up for myself, that's pretty much the end of it. It's ruined, oh well, I'll try next monday. Next month. Next...whenever.

#4. I don't want to so much, that I make it so circumstances have to be perfect before anything happens. Well, I really want to, but the day is halfway through and I forgot, so I'll start tomorrow. Well...it's too cold outside/too hot outside/too wet outside/to what the heck ever to do anything...so today is shot. Maybe tomorrow. I don't have the right shoes. I don't have a good outfit. I don't have a place to set up a DVD without people watching me. We have too many sweets in the house and I WANT THEM IN MAH BELLEH.

I've pretty much always been down on my figure. I've been slightly overweight probably since I was 10. People are always telling me I look fine, and even though I vehemently disagree with them...I've always been able to suck it in just right and pose just so in front of the mirror than I'm like, "Pssshaw. It ain't so bad." Lately, that's not happening. Lol. The sucking in doesn't improve things much if any. And for my sake, for marital sake, for health's sake...I'm going on a little diet of my own.

I have set no standards or goals that I MUST reach, therefore, I cannot feel a failure and quit. However, if I lose X amount, I'm going to reward myself with a trip to get my nails done. (Anybody wanna go?) I didn't want to choose food as a reward, because I haven't set up any certain restrictions. I'm allowed to eat anything, but I have it constantly in my head to make a healthier choice. I'm not putting olive oil on my spinach and romaine salad....It's iceberg lettuce, with lots of cheese and I'm dousing it in ranch dressing (I hate salad...) but isn't that STILL better than slices of pizza I would have gotten? Once I get used to making somewhat healthier choices, perhaps I shall move up to adding more/making them more intense. But right now, I'm used to nomming away at cookies with no inhibitions, so...we're improving. =) I run up or down the stairs instead of sending someone else to do it. I fly Ryan like an airplane and work out my arms a little. I go Christmas shopping and drop dead from exhaustion when I return.

It's something and it's nothing at the same time. If I lose some weight, great. I'm excited. If I don't? That's okay too. You'll probably still see me enjoyin' some take out every once in awhile. Don't hesitate to ask me to go out to Monical's, and if there's a Birthday party I will definitely be eating some cake.

Yea, though I drive through the valley of the shadow of death every single flippin' day...

Train up a child in the way he should go...

While pregnant with Ryan, I read a book borrowed from my mother called, "To Train Up a Child" in preparation for the inevitable rough spots where I don't know what to do.
You know what ol' saying, "don't believe everything you read"? I tend to struggle with that. I have a hard time forming my own opinion from the things I've heard, and am easily influenced by others words and attitudes. I happened across some bad reviews online while looking up the website for the book the other day. I could feel myself being pulled in by their negative comments, my attitude turning more sour with every critical word I read. I had to pull myself up from drowning in their opinions and focus on what I know to be true based on God's Word.
I enjoyed the book then, and I enjoy it still...as I am currently rereading it. Some of the things in the book I wholeheartedly agree with, and intent to implement them into my child training. Others, I have decided to do without. (Potty training my infant? Not even gonna think about it.)
I think of all the things that I pray will stick with me is the teaching about being consistent. That's another thing I've always struggled with. Self-discipline is probably my most common downfall.
But one section talks about how parents will discipline their children in anger because they've let themselves get upset with telling their children something over and over again. That if you consistently expect them to behave the 1st, (Or maybe the 2nd) time they're told, eventually they will, and you can calmly discipline them when they've misbehaved because you've only told them once before a spanking was in order. I'm sure you've experienced this yourself or watched it happen. "Baby, don't do that. Did you hear me? Baby, I told you not to do that! BABY! STOP! Don't do that or I'm going to have to give you a spanking! OKAY, THAT'S IT!" Children (I know I did) learn how you operate, and know that they don't have to obey until the 7th time they're told, because that's when it finally gets serious.
Another thing I liked was that you train for behavior, but you discipline for attitudes. Never to let yourself get upset because the child was clumsy, had an accident or something like that. Rather watch out for a mean and rebellious heart.
Another, that spanking purges the child of guilt, and they can resume having a cheerful attitude and heart immediately, instead of sitting in a corner or a room to brew and dwell upon being in trouble and hurt feelings. I remember when my mom used to have to spank me...she'd hug me after and tell me that she hadn't wanted to do it, but she did because she loved me and wanted me to grow up to be a good girl. At one point she stopped doing this because she thought I was too old, but I remember telling her that I missed it and still wanted to be hugged after being in trouble, because I know it helped me release any bitterness I was holding against her. I didn't like feeling that way.

Anyhow, I just thought I'd share some of the thoughts about child rearing that have been going through my mind lately. I definitely don't have all the answers, and I'm sure it's way harder than it sounds! But it's all in my head at this point, haven't really had to try any of it so far. =)

I hope that YOU are having a wonderful day.

The happiest 3 months ever!

 

 

Happy 3 months, sweet pea!

It's the dawning of the age of mobility!

Ryan is an all or nothing kinda guy. Which I suppose my pregnancy could be considered the initial sign of that. No cramping, contractions, zip zilch nada! And 5 days (Wait, was it only days? Felt like weeks to me...) overdue as well! Then--surprise! Water's broken.
I almost felt bad for the little dude during month 1 and 2. I mean...he just lays there. He can't move, he can't hold things. Vegging around doesn't sound too bad to me, but for a kid I thought it must be pretty boring, you know?
Then, in the car a few days ago, I had attached a rattle toy to a chain of those linky-doos on his carseat for him to...stare at...and outta nowhere I hear it shaking around back there! He was grabbing at it!
During his 2 month checkup at the doctor's office he was lagging behind somewhat in the mobility department. 100% on everything else, but..."Does he lay his head down softly and not drop it when put on his stomach?" and a few others like that got a "Sometimes" check mark instead of the "Yes" they were looking for. Tummy Time was not a very happy time and I didn't care much for leaving him screaming on the floor for it's sake. If you had asked me 3 days ago I would have told you with complete confidence, "He HATES being on his stomach." And yet, yesterday...

 

Little stinkpot! You told me you hated that! And he surprised me with a roll from tummy to back. Twice! One to the left, and the other to the right for good measure. He probably knew I would be skeptical. 

I'm very proud and excited for his little achievements and also a little nervous. You mean I can't just lay him down anywhere now? Fiddlesticks.

He is my daily lesson in patience. =)

Halloween 2010

Halloween was awesome! Nick and I have dressed up in couples costumes every year we've been together. More often than not rather reluctantly, but Nick's a pretty good sport about it. Let's see...we've done

1. Angel & Demon
2. Bunny & Magician
3. Black Eyed Peas.
4. SnS Chef & Waitress/painter & canvas

And I had a little trouble this year because I really wanted to keep doing the couples thing, but there's 3 of us! So this is what I came up with, kind of at the last second too!

Circus Performers!

I think it turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself.

 

For my costume I had to buy a little black dress. I've dressed like a mom pretty much forever...at least that's what Emilie always says, but isn't that supposed to be like, a wardrobe staple? Apparently I'm farther gone than I realized. The little number is way too small on me. Says on the tag it's supposed to be "just above the knee" and it barely covers my rear! But I was wearing my leggings, so that's all I needed it to do. It was all I could find for a decent $15 at Forever 21. I almost dropped $20 on a red cardigan at Target, but I just couldn't bring myself to it. And I ended up borrowing this red blouse from my mom and just tying up the ends. Turned out pretty cute! I guess I must have pitched Nick's magician hat from 3 years ago, cause I had to buy a new one. Then I made my whip out of a piece of thin dowel rod ($2) with black and red electrical tape wrapped around it for decoration and to hold on the braided black yarn. I looked for a more substantial lion, but...I couldn't find one and Nick said it would be funny to bring the teensy crocheted one. All in all? $26.

 While shopping at Target, Ryan was being kind of a butt. So I was looking through the baby clothes, but not very thoroughly. I was kind of distracted trying to keep HIM distracted until we got out to the car so he could eat. Just as I was giving up and walking away, Emily B pulled this cutie polka dot outfit off a mixed rack. "How about this?" Um, PERFECT!? The little monkey on it is even fine, and obviously it's something he can wear again. Then she picked me up some pom poms from Hobby Lobby and I safety pinned them on for easy removal when the holiday is over. Dab of lipstick on the nose, and this cutie clown only cost $10.

This was SO cute and SO frustrating! All he needed was a thicker dowel rod ($3), some foam balls and back spray paint for a huge weight, and some suspenders for a little flair. We went to Wally World to pick up the paint ($0.77) and over into the crafty section to pick up the foam balls. Um, $10 EACH. I just thought that was absolutely ridiculous for a piece of FOAM! Give me a break. So we wandered around looking for a cheaper alternative and picked up 2 bouncy balls for $1 each. That's more like it. But in the end, I should have sucked it up and paid the $20...the spray paint would. not. dry. even though it was supposed to in 10 minutes and we gave it almost 2 DAYS. We glued them, we taped them, we glued them and taped them! the balls would not stick onto the end of that rod for anything. So that just didn't work out. Even though the weight was the main prop, with his flexing poses and stuffed sock biceps, you can tell what he's supposed to be. But that was a real bummer. $15 for a big disappointment.

So we accomplished all of our outfits for $51! I thought that wasn't too bad for how cute we all look. =)

We had a really good time at Emily B's Halloween Party! Had to miss Dave & Laurie's annual Harvest Party because Nick worked until 6 on the 30th, but it worked out that Em had her party the same night, so we still got to party it up!!

Our gorgeous hostess dressed up in a totally unique peacock costume! Thought that was just too cool. Admittedly, I was a little skeptical of how she was going to pull it off, but WOW! Did she ever. You looked super awesome, Em!

Ryan hanging out with Anna.

Pictured: Andrew as Thing 1, Emilie as an Angel holding RyRy the clown, Alyssa as Queen Amidala in her fighter outfit, Scotty the blue lego and Daniel as Carlos the Chilean miner!!!

My angel costume 5 years ago was probably my ALL TIME favorite! Emilie said she felt very unoriginal in hers, but she sure was pretty! I think that's why it was my favorite. I loved wearing the wings, the halo was major cute, I wore my hair all curly and gold super high heels with a white dress. I just felt SUPER pretty, and I can remember kids at The Switch pointing me out to their parents. "Look, mommy, an aaaangel!" Loved it. =)

Actual Halloween day wasn't super busy. Day went by pretty slow. Nick had to work an awkward shift that made us not be able to go to church, so we pretty much wasted the day away until around 7:30pm. Dressed up in our outfits and snapped those pictures up there, then went out to Nick's mom & dads to watch the season premiere of "The Walking Dead" on AMC. I hate horror movies and all that junk, but I gotta say, it was really good and I'm excited to watch next weeks episode!

All in all, a very Happy Halloween!

It's hard work being a sister.

I love talking to my sister.

I told Nick how we'd get by with me working and having a baby was that I'd just condense my 20-25 work week into 2-3 days instead of 5. I also said I'd return to work in 2 weeks instead of the recommended 6...neither of those things happened. I assist my mom in the mundane everyday bookwork that comes hand in hand with owning a business, so 9 out of 10 I get to stay out at the house instead of going to the store. The only downside? I can't stop myself from chit-chatting, reminiscing and gossip swapping with Em every single day that I am there!

On our way to eat out with the family.

I was at "work" from 11:00am to 4:30pm today and I think I only got to write 3 hours on my sheet. We did a little looking back today, and we laughed about...

How making "suicides" with soda was way cool.

Asking Nathan if we could come into his room at night because we were chickens.

How we fought nonstop.

How we hangout all the time now, but she used to be the annoying little sister.

Letting her play the "I never" game with my friends and I and keeping it PG until we kicked her out.

The super stupid things we did for boys we had major crushes on.

Wanting to know if anybody ever liked us that way. (I'd say probably not on my part)

How just plain awkward we used to be. And sometimes still are...

It was a good day. I love my job. ;)

1 year down.

Today was Nick and I's 1st wedding anniversary and 5th year together in total! :) We didn't end up doing much. We're going to drive over to Champaign tomorrow and eat out at the Olive Garden (My fav!) because I really wanted to go to Hobby Lobby and they're closed on Sundays. Hah! So we just had some Steak n Shake tonight. We talked about going to Subway, but they were closed. We went to Subway the evening of our wedding day. You're jealous of how romantic we are, I just know it...Livin' the dream, baby.

I put these on Nick's desk this morning while I was up with Ryan and getting ready for church.

The traditional 1st Anniversary gift is paper, so I learned how to make these online and whipped up a dozen out of red post-it notes. 12 because that's 1 for every month, and red because that's the "I love you" color.

Spring Formal 2006

Thought I'd pop in a little comparison picture. This was us 5 years ago at our first Spring Formal! We would have been together for about 6 months here. I'm...16? Not sure what date formal was that year. And he's 19.

Promise Rings

He gave me my promise ring on my 16th Birthday. We'd only been dating about 7 months, but he was supposed to be going away to college and it was to promise me he wouldn't forget about me while he was gone. Not a marriage promise. Though it did become that. I gave him his first one on our 1st dating anniversary, but he lost it. So I bought him the one pictured for Valentines. Which we finally traded in last year for these.

Wedding Rings

It's already been quite the adventure, but I'm lovin' every second. He was the best boyfriend, and now he's the best husband! Can't believe it's already been a year! But time flies when you're having fun, am I right?

9/26/09-9/26/10. 1 year. (Except that this is posting a little after midnight. Shucks...)

Out of the old and into the new.

We're kind of last minute people. Or the "Next to Last" minute, if you will! (Ahaha!...Okay, done.) But we waited up until about 1 month before the wedding to actually go apartment shopping. Actually, I have to pause here and say that I really don't know how you would get a place any sooner when both of you still live at home? It's not like we could say, "Hey, can you hold this apartment for us until September?" It's more of a first come, first serve thing. So we stopped in and had a tour of an apartment complex, and the landlady said she didn't have any 1-bedrooms open right now (Gasp!) BUT...there was a lease coming up, and she'd give us a call. That kind of settled it for us...we didn't even look anywhere else! Just waited to see if she would call and say it opened up. Luckily it did.

This is what our space looked like.

Box-o-living room.

Giant white walls (of course), beige carpet, a balcony that overlooked a scenic parking lot...

The kitchen, where I belong.

It was nice. Fairly new, cute, cozy. Don't know why I didn't bother to try and give the illusion that I'm a good housekeeper. Look at that mess...goodness.

Tiny bathroom.

 

Do you have favorite decorating space? In this old place, I loved the kitchen and the bedroom. I felt good about them when I walked into the room. Satisfied with the colors and amount of stuff. The bathroom started to get that way too toward the end of the year there, but no matter what I did the living room always eluded me. That space NEVER looked complete.

Then, on my way to a doctor's appointment about 1 month before our year lease was up in this space, (at the very last minute, just like the year before!) I spotted a small sign in a front yard of a huge pretty white house that read,

"2 Bedroom Apartment FOR RENT"

Long story short, we got a tour of the place, filled out an application and crossed our fingers and toes that we would get it. Lucky again! We paid duel rents so we could get in before Ryan was born. I waddled around packing boxes while Nick and his awesome friend Adam did the majority of the moving. Shout out to Nick's mom, too. And Nate and Jeff who came to help with the heavy lifting.

 

It's a dream come true, really. The space is awesome and the pictures to follow just won't do it justice. The best part? It has got to be at least 3x the space we had for only $30 more than we were paying!! Now that we have this, I can't imagine having cramped ourselves into that cookie-cutter sardine can with a crib in the corner and a rocking chair shoved awkwardly into the tiny living room for a whole 'nother YEAR!

Living Room

There's a mirror ($60 mirror for $12!!!) hanging out in the closet waiting to be put up above that fireplace. (Which doesn't work, by the way, but it makes the space way more awesome anyhow). And I could probably make a list a million miles long of all the furniture and decorations I would love to buy. That winning the lottery joke from yesterday is looking more and more like a necessity every day.

Kitchen

The only thing that isn't my favorite about the kitchen is that it's sorta "servanty"? Cause it's stuck in the back corner of the house and I'm more used to being in a place where the food and hangout spaces are linked together. But the negative has actually turned itself into a positive! Nick and I have probably had dinner at the table more times in this place than we ever did for a whole year at the other. Since it's forever away from the living room = forever away from computers and TV.

Bathroom

 Checkit, the bathroom is so much bigger it can't fit into 1 shot like the other space! The pot and much nicer tub are around the corner.

Bedroom

Ryan's Room

You could easily get lost in this place the first time here. I did. There are doors that lead to doors and a massive closet in each room. Also? Ryan's room is just an extra little sun room...that's not even the other bedroom!! It's full of storage, so I'm not gonna bother picturing it. But it's just downright cool too. There's an apartment above us a lady rents out for storage, and we know the people in the other apartment downstairs because Nick works with her. They also just had a baby boy a week or two before us. Awesome, right?

It's amazing the way God has provided for us. I feel like the woman in the Bible who has that tiny bit of oil left but it pours enough to fill tons of jars? So often I feel like we're calling it so close. That we just managed to get it together this month and I don't know what's gonna happen next. How, on our 2 part time salaries are we here? How do we have the luxury of running our air when we please, enjoying the internet, plenty of food and this massive space? We have been so blessed.

I hope you enjoyed the tour. It's even better in person, and we love company! =)

I left a girl and have returned a woman!

I really can't believe that my last post on here was 2 years ago. And it's certainly not for lack of things to blog about...rather that I had too many! I've been a busy bee. Let's see, in the past two years I have....

1. Planned and followed through on a marriage.
2. Moved into a space with partner from #1.
3. Got knocked up 2 months later.
4. Moved into another, much LARGER space.
5. Birthed a little bundle of joy.

And, you know, all the typical lifey stuff inbetween. But those were the major events. Certainly don't know how I'm gonna top that this year! Win the lottery, maybe? (I wish.)

I guess a hello is all I can leave you with for now. (Hello!) Because this is what I'm dealing with at the moment...

He's in a tiny phase today where mom is the only cure for the fussies. Perfectly content until I try to pry the little leech off and then the meltdown ensues. But I still need to eat and poop too, so...he just has to deal sometimes. And for all that crap (literally) through the day, it's worth it for this little moment.

You'll note that these are taken at the exact same place. Little man moods swings worse than I did while pregnant with him. Zero to 60 in no time flat, I tell ya.

Anyhow. I'm going to give you a little tour of our place next time, so stick around.

Until then, wish me luck on putting this punk monkey to bed. Night!