And I will dwell in the kitchen of my house forever.

For me, dieting has always been a huge hassle, and here are a few reasons why.

#1. As mentioned in the previous post, self-discipline is one of my largest downfalls. I wasn't exactly the best homeschooler, because I never had enough desire to do it myself without being nagged to death to do it. And really not even then...dieting takes a MASSIVE amount of self control when you've just let yourself do yo thang pretty much every day and not suffered any immediate consequence. The pounds usually pack on so slowly over time it seems barely noticeable until one day you wake up and wonder what happened. Hah.

#2. Which way to choose? Should I leave out meat? Should I leave out dairy? Should I avoid butter and oil like the plague? Do I exercise in the morning? Afternoon? Night? Before I eat or after I eat? All in one 45 minute to 1 hour go, or spread out throughout the day? Is walking enough? How much should I run? How far? What do I do if I'm stuck inside because it's FRIGID outside and can't afford a gym membership? Yoga/Weight Training/Cardio? All of the above? Everyone says different things!!

#3. It's gotta be all or nothing. For some reason, I have this mentality that once I start some kind of diet, and restrict myself at all...once I break the rules I've set up for myself, that's pretty much the end of it. It's ruined, oh well, I'll try next monday. Next month. Next...whenever.

#4. I don't want to so much, that I make it so circumstances have to be perfect before anything happens. Well, I really want to, but the day is halfway through and I forgot, so I'll start tomorrow. Well...it's too cold outside/too hot outside/too wet outside/to what the heck ever to do anything...so today is shot. Maybe tomorrow. I don't have the right shoes. I don't have a good outfit. I don't have a place to set up a DVD without people watching me. We have too many sweets in the house and I WANT THEM IN MAH BELLEH.

I've pretty much always been down on my figure. I've been slightly overweight probably since I was 10. People are always telling me I look fine, and even though I vehemently disagree with them...I've always been able to suck it in just right and pose just so in front of the mirror than I'm like, "Pssshaw. It ain't so bad." Lately, that's not happening. Lol. The sucking in doesn't improve things much if any. And for my sake, for marital sake, for health's sake...I'm going on a little diet of my own.

I have set no standards or goals that I MUST reach, therefore, I cannot feel a failure and quit. However, if I lose X amount, I'm going to reward myself with a trip to get my nails done. (Anybody wanna go?) I didn't want to choose food as a reward, because I haven't set up any certain restrictions. I'm allowed to eat anything, but I have it constantly in my head to make a healthier choice. I'm not putting olive oil on my spinach and romaine salad....It's iceberg lettuce, with lots of cheese and I'm dousing it in ranch dressing (I hate salad...) but isn't that STILL better than slices of pizza I would have gotten? Once I get used to making somewhat healthier choices, perhaps I shall move up to adding more/making them more intense. But right now, I'm used to nomming away at cookies with no inhibitions, so...we're improving. =) I run up or down the stairs instead of sending someone else to do it. I fly Ryan like an airplane and work out my arms a little. I go Christmas shopping and drop dead from exhaustion when I return.

It's something and it's nothing at the same time. If I lose some weight, great. I'm excited. If I don't? That's okay too. You'll probably still see me enjoyin' some take out every once in awhile. Don't hesitate to ask me to go out to Monical's, and if there's a Birthday party I will definitely be eating some cake.

Yea, though I drive through the valley of the shadow of death every single flippin' day...