Day 10: Something you're afraid of

 Okay, whoa whoa whoa. I must have gone to bed before I hit publish on this, because I totally wrote it yesterday. Argh! I'm not late!!!!

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I like taking pictures. I like taking pictures of people. I like to capture a moment in someones life that they can hold onto forever, and be proud of the image they really, they have produced. It's the most simple way that I know to boost someones confidence and make them feel beautiful. I know that's always when I want to take a picture. When my self-esteem has somehow clambered its way out of the gutter, I go for the camera. I suppose that may sound conceited, in a way, but you're misunderstanding me. Just like nobody wants to take a picture on the day their dog dies. You want pictures of special events, fun and smiles. That's how I think of it.

Much more than my love for taking a photo, I don't know much. I have the lowest end "fancy" camera you can buy, the zoom lens that came along with it, and I just got a 2nd simple lens in the mail. Most of the time, my dial is stuck on the auto-mode, just like I'm still using my mom's point and shoot.
In theory, I'm slowly coming to understand what the other dials on my camera mean but I'm still not quite sure how to use them to my advantage. Especially when I can just sit in auto and the smart little camera will do it for me. 

I suppose there's something to say about having an "eye" for photography. I wouldn't say mine is spectacular, (I wouldn't say anything about myself is spectacular) but I will say that other people have said that mine is pretty good. And I'll admit that sometimes...I tend to think so, too.

I can only find minor things that set me apart from the average joe taking a snapshot. And I can find little to nothing that makes me any better than a person also interested in photography, and I can find countless things that make me a million times worse than the people who can call themselves pros.

All that to say...

My biggest fear is failure/rejection. I'm the same way with my Mary Kay business. I love the products, I think the company is wonderful, but I'm just so afraid of 'bothering' someone with it. I don't want to fail, but I don't want to be rejected.
I would love to make some sort of living from Photography, but I tie myself up by prefacing anyone's interest with, like I just did: okay...but I'm terrible, I know nothing, don't pay me because I'm not worth it.

I'm really trying to work on the self-deprecation, and here's a quote that most of you have probably read before and I really love.

My favorite line, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be?!

So yeah, again...it's something I'm working on. It's tough though.